My Bible

I love my Bible. If you are reading this, you probably know that already. :-) Brian's parents gave us this Bible as a Christmas present in 2004. I never knew that I would get so attached to a book. But my Bible isn't just any book, obviously. We have several Bibles...a small travel one for Brian to take on his business trips, a woman's devotional one for me, 2 others in different translations. But the one I'm talking about is the one we use most. We take it to church every Sunday. We use it for our LDG meetings. We take it on family vacations. I read it almost every day....some days I read one of the others ones but usually I always come back to this one. It has notes written all through it, highlights, underlines, stars, arrows, brackets, hearts....all on scripture that God has used to speak to me, to guide me, to comfort me, to teach me, to change me.

As I'm writing this I'm realizing that I have a relationship with this Bible.

I remember the 1st day it came into our home. We were new Christians. It was Christmas. We opened the wrapping paper and inside the box was this brand spanking new Bible with our name on it and I was so touched. I cried. We read the "Christmas Story" right then and there. We proudly started carrying it to church every week. I slowly started underlining things that stood out to me, highlighting stuff I wanted to remember.

I remember the 1st time it spoke to me. The Word is alive. I had heard that so many times and had absolutely no idea what people meant when they said that. But then one evening, it came alive and spoke to me. I used to drink a lot. Even after I "got saved", I still drank a lot. In the back of my mind, I knew it was too much...but at the time that was as far is it went...just to the back of my mind. One night I sat down to read my Bible, with a glass of wine. I felt a little weird about it....but hey, I always read other books with a glass of wine. So I was reading and looked over at the glass on the table and "heard" in my heart....you can't read my word with that stuff here. Well...I thought about it and realized that was probably right, but I ignored it and started reading again. And even got a little resentful...."Who is HE to tell me that? Really, what is all that about? It's my business!" And then let me tell you....if words can move....these JUMPED UP right off the page and hit me smack dab in the eyeballs! "My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."(Proverbs 3:11-12) I read it a couple more times just to make sure I had it right and then I got up and put that wine in the fridge to save it for later, when I was done reading. (I still had some things to learn, didn't I?)

I remember the time it got me through one of the longest nights of my life. I've made a lot of mistakes, done a lot of things I'm not proud of. One of the battles that happens to me & most everyone I know....is the replaying of memories and regrets from my past. And the devil, he likes to heap on that condemnation in truckloads. This night was about a year after I gave my life to God...it started early in the day actually. Memories started flooding my brain of things I had done, bad decisions, people I had hurt, really really bad stuff. Oh God, how can you love me, how can you save ME, how can you use me for any good....after all that I've done. And right then that's when the enemy came in with his words....you're right, Dawn, you are too bad, God doesn't love you, you've done too much, He can never use you, He doesn't even want to use you! By the time I got home from work I was an emotional wreck, drained, exhausted. Now I recognize that as Spiritual warfare and an attack from the enemy. At the time I had no idea what was happening. Thankfully I had an amazing friend at work who told me what to do....get into my Bible, turn my thoughts onto praising God, listen to worship songs. So as soon as I got home I got out my Bible and started reading. I cried and prayed and read all night. The family went to bed, it was time for me to go to bed too....I was still in pain but exhausted. I climbed into bed and in the quiet of the night and no dinner or laundry or games with the kids to help distract me, the condemnation started up again. I was tired. I prayed. I got my Bible, opened it up, laid it on my chest and gave up. I slept with my Bible for the 1st time that night. And just as before, it came alive and protected me all night. I rested.

When Brian lost his job & we were facing financial bankruptcy, our Bible was there for us. I'll try to make this long story short. We had absolutely no financial responsibility. We spent money like it grew on trees. Made bad, bad financial decisions. On top of that we had huge financial obligations, court ordered obligations. We started doing better once we woke up out of our fog....but it was too late. Brian lost his job. He was unemployed for almost a year. And then "underemployed" (meaning he took a job for WAY less than we needed to even think about paying bills!) for another year. We were 10's of thousands of dollars in debt. We got sued for those court ordered obligations I spoke about above. Not only were we having trouble paying our necessary bills....electricity, food, fuel....now we had to face going to court and getting a lawyer with no money to pay for one. It was scary. Scary isn't even a big enough word. So we got into our Bible once again. I made posterboards with scripture of God's promises to save us and protects us and provide for us. We prayed like we had never prayed before. I had the mini sticky-notes marking scripture that promised us Who God is and what He would do. I prayed His word back to Him constantly. When we went to court, Brian took his files of paperwork and documents, I took the Bible. While he was in the mediation room, I read that Bible. And prayed. I bet I looked really funny on the security camera video from the courtroom....one little woman walking around that empty courtroom with a Bible and praying. Brian came out of mediation. We went home and waited. We lost...I guess you call it that. But we trusted God and His word. Even though we had no money, we had to pay a portion of those obligations.....$30,000..... in 30 days. We had 1 month to come up with $30,000. God did it. That's a story for another blog. But on the 30th day, we had $30,000 to pay. That was at least a 8-10 month journey through all that.....there was no way we could have made it through that time, no way our marriage could have survived that time, without our Bible.

There are so many more stories I have about how my Bible has supported me, comforted me, even helped others. Like the time that a friend was in desperate need of encouragement from God. She is a life long Christian, strong in her faith, I really look up to her. But she was going through a very difficult time and one day as I was praying for her, God took me right to a scripture that I knew I was supposed to share with her. It was her exact situation and how God had rescued the people in the Bible from the same thing. I called her and read the scripture to her and it really, really encouraged her and gave her hope. Encouragement and hope, that's what we all need.

Why am I writing this? Well, my Bible is coming apart. I have a choice to make----not really, there is no choice in this situation, for me at least. I can either get if repaired and rebound or I can buy a new one. It would probably be a lot less expensive to just buy a new one. But after all that we've shared, you tell me how I'm supposed to just go get another Bible? I'll be visiting a bindery this week. Turning over my precious friend to the hands of someone who can give it some tender loving care, reinforce it and get it ready for years and years of more good times ahead!

Dandelions

Dandelions! No matter how carefully I try to pull one up, I never get the whole thing. The root stays deep in the ground, threatening to grow up and blossom again.
But despite their bad reputation, dandelions are pretty little flowers with their yellow strands all tucked neatly into the center. And truly they are the most beautiful of all flowers when presented clutched in a child’s dirty little hand. No one gets yelled at for picking them. Perhaps they grow only to be used and enjoyed by children.
Dandelions are ignored or attacked, never nurtured or cared for, and yet they always bloom profusely. They demand no pampering or special attention to yield their bright blossoms; they pop up in fields, in lawns , and between cracks in the sidewalk, even in the best neighborhoods. Can you imagine trying to grow them in a garden? They’d sneak through the boundaries and pop their sunny yellow faces up in the surrounding lawn. They would never stay put!
Christians should be more like dandelions. Our sunny yellow faces should be a reminder that simple faith has deep roots that are impossible to dislodge. Our vast number would show the world that even though we are not fancy or pampered we are evident everywhere, even in the best neighborhoods.
We should be as easily accessible as a dandelion. Jesus was. We need to get out of our gardens and jump across the boundaries that keep us where people expect to find us. We need to show our sunny yellow faces in all the spots that need a little brightening up-the crack in the sidewalk or the lawn of a country club. (Author Janice Kempe)

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19

Flower Gardens

I’ve been facing my imperfections lately. What else is new, right? Well, I’ve been facing them in a new, uncomfortable, surprising way. For a long while I’ve been dealing with a rather large personal issue, I’m still dealing with it, and in all honesty I’m not ready to talk about it yet. However, it’s slowly moving away. As it has moved on, I’ve been very surprised by what’s left behind. See, I had this idea that was the giant…this personal issue…was the problem, the disease. My eyes have been opened over the past month or so that that problem was simply a symptom. There are underlying issues that are what really need to be dealt with. I am journaling the process and I hope to share in a beautiful, God given way one day. Right now though, I want to tell you about what happened at church this morning. Because it was exactly what my God is about and exactly why I love Him so much and exactly why I long to know Him more intimately and precisely why I want everyone to know Him.

Back to my “imperfections”. I mistakenly thought that if I was able to conquer the giant I spoke of above that the feelings of inadequacy and insecurity and guilt would disappear. Well, they haven’t. So, I’ve had to face the cold, hard truth that the giant was there just to cover it all up….how I really felt about myself. I thought I felt inadequate and insecure, guilty and shameful because of “the giant”. In reality it’s the other way around…the giant is there because of those feelings. God just had to get rid of it, for me to see the truth. We, God & I, we’ve been on a long walk through this. And I know He’s telling me the truth. He’s been kind when I needed it, been stern when I needed that and loved me like no other every step of the way. At any rate, I woke up this morning feeling very inadequate. See, I didn’t do enough yesterday. I was supposed to work last night…but I was scheduled to work on the patio at the restaurant where I waitress and thunderstorms popped up last night. So I was offered the night off, now I’m sure I could have gone in and asked around enough and someone would have gone home & I could have taken over their shift inside the restaurant. But I didn’t. Instead, I called a wonderful friend & we decided to go to the movies. As soon as I did it, I knew I’d be kicking myself later. With thoughts like, “you really should work”, “if you aren’t at work then you should at least be at home cleaning the house”. And then, I didn’t even do anything once I did get home. No cleaning, no organizing, nothing. And then, I slept through the alarm this morning. So I was maybe 7 minutes late for church. I almost didn’t go to the 8:30 service because I knew I’d be walking in after the music started. But something made me go anyway. All the way there, I fought the internal battle of knowing in my head that 7 minutes is not that big of a deal especially when I’m on time every single Sunday otherwise, but in my heart wondering what people would think, and if I’m honest, what did God think about me sleeping though the alarm. YES, I know how all this sounds…but it’s real. And I know that these feelings are not how God desires me to live or be. So I told Him that. And I walked into church, late. Feeling like I didn’t do enough, already planning what I was going to do today to make up for all I didn’t do yesterday. And then He wrapped me in His arms. That was the 2nd song our amazing worship band sang at church this morning. These are the words….

There is a God who loves me. Who wraps me in His arms. And that is the place where I'm changed. And that's where I belong. Take me to that place Lord, To that secret place where I can be with You. You can make me like You. Wrap me in Your arms

So I’m singing my guts out on the bolded part. And then, because I do want to be more like Him and I want to be changed, I prayed one of the Psalms that I pray a lot….. Psalm 139, search me O God, search my heart. Show me my heart God, what is it in my heart that makes me feel the way that I was feeling this morning. I wanted God to show me what was wrong with me, so I could fix it. He says …. I’ll show you your heart, Dawn. Here’s what your heart looks like to me. And then I saw something like a book being opened up and a huge, enormous, overflowing, beautiful flower garden came pouring of it. And the flowers never stopped. And He said, your heart is beautiful and I love you. Your heart is a garden that I love to walk through. And then the tears came. And then I remembered a scripture God showed me one day, Isaiah 55:13. Isaiah is one of my most favorite books in the Bible. It says “Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the Lord’s name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.” My heart used to be a place where thorns and briers grew. But with God’s power and love, He’s taking out those things and replanting beautiful cypress trees and myrtles. Sometimes those old weeds want to try to make a comeback but my God shows up and plucks those suckers right out. Like I said before, I prayed that Psalm because I thought I wanted God to show me what was wrong so I could fix it….but He knows me better than I know myself and what I needed was a vision, a reflection of who I am in Him. A beautiful flower garden.

I hope this gives you a glimpse of why I am so in love with God.

A picture blog.....

Here's a few pictures of what we've been up to lately. I'll add more in a few days.

Robot Parades & White Prizes

Life with an almost 3 year is crazy. Especially an imaginative 3 year old. This little one of mine is seriously mad at me today.....all because of a robot parade. Here's the conversation....I'm checking email and I hear: "Mommy, I watch Robot Parade!!" What? "I watch Robot Parade!" Really confused now, I ask Zach what is a robot parade. "Mommy, I.WATCH.ROBOT.PARADE!" Okay, I have no idea what a robot parade is Zach, show me, where is it? "I mad, Mommy" "I watch Robot Parade!" He got up, turned off the TV, went to the stairs, sat down on the bottom step, crossed his arms, said "I mad" "I watch robot parade!" I'll never know, I guess!

I talked to my Mom this morning, she tells me the conversation she had with Zach last night on the phone(I was at work). Zach gets on the phone and says to her "Grandma, you come my house, bring me prize, a white one". Good luck, Grandma, trying to figure out *which* white prize to bring!

Typing the end of that 1st paragraph, Zach comes running into the living room, saying in a sing-song voice....."Moooommmmeeee, guess whaaattt?" I say, "Whhhaaaatttt?" his reply.... "It's a beeeeuuuutttful sunneeeee daaaaaay" I just had to pick him up and squeeze him till he squealed! So darn cute. Off to go play in our "beeuuutttful sunneeee daaaay".

Home Sweet Home

The move to NC has been better than I expected. Now, I didn't expect to sit around homesick for GA for years or anything. I just figured I'd really miss it...in a healthy way. And I do miss seeing my friends & family like I did before I moved. But NC has been good to us, to me. Our church is awesome. Our house and neighborhood are great. But one of the neatest things is that I've made some really good friends so far.

A few Friday's ago(2/13/09) was one of the reasons I love living in the South! It's February....most people are cold, not us in NC! Friday was a beautiful spring day in NC. The sky was crystal clear Carolina Blue, a few fluffy clouds floating around, the sun was just right to warm our faces, the temp was a wonderful 70 degrees! So I & my fellow playgroup Moms decided to have playgroup at the park. "Playgroup" is a group of several Moms who have children of similar age and we meet once a week for the children to play and the Moms to commiserate. The children make friends quickly & have lots of fun. We Moms---well, it gives us a break and a place to find some sanity. We chat about preschool & potties & what funny thing our kids have done lately, we vent about our frustrations, and we share many cups of coffee. CAFFIENE....it's what keeps us going!

Enjoy a few pictures of our fun park day and meet some of my new friends! This isn't everyone...a few Mom's were busy that day and couldn't make it.

Becky w/ Sara, Julie & Samanta

Brandon, Sam's son

Richard, Sam's son

Alex, Becky's son

Sara, Becky's daughter

Zachery, he's MINE!

A delicious healthy dinner

At the beginning of January, I, like everyone else in the world, decided to eat healthier & lose a few (ahem...more than a few!) pounds. So I've been searching for healthy and tasty recipes. I found this great website that has many healthy recipes to try. The recipes are grouped by many different criteria such as occasion, type of cuisine, main ingredient etc... Or you can use the "advanced search" feature to narrow down your search to things like "high fiber", "low carb", "high protein" etc.... The web address is http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/collections.php

Here is a dinner I planned using the recipes from that website. Both of these are delicious and do not taste low calorie or low fat at all! And both were easy to make and bonus....these are usually ingredients I always have on hand.

If you try this recipe or any other from the website...please write & let me know what you think!


Sauteed Chicken with Creamy Chive Sauce
Makes 4 servings
ACTIVE TIME: 35 minutes
TOTAL TIME: 35 minutes
EASE OF PREPARATION: Easy

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 1 pound), trimmed of fat
1 teaspoon kosher salt, divided
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour, divided
3 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
2 large shallots, finely chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
1 14-ounce can reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/3 cup reduced-fat sour cream
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1/2 cup chopped chives (about 1 bunch)

1. Place chicken between sheets of plastic wrap and pound with a meat mallet or heavy skillet until flattened to an even thickness, about 1/2 inch. Season both sides of the chicken with 1/2 teaspoon salt. Place 1/4 cup flour in a shallow glass baking dish and dredge the chicken in it. Discard the excess flour.
2. Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and cook until golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate, cover and keep warm.
3. Heat the remaining 1 teaspoon oil in the pan over medium-high heat. Add shallots and cook, stirring constantly and scraping up any browned bits, until golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes. Sprinkle with the remaining 1 tablespoon flour; stir to coat. Add wine, broth and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt; bring to a boil, stirring often.
4. Return the chicken and any accumulated juices to the pan, reduce heat to a simmer, and cook until heated through and no longer pink in the center, about 6 minutes. Stir in sour cream and mustard until smooth; turn the chicken to coat with the sauce. Stir in chives and serve immediately.
NUTRITION INFORMATION: Per serving: 244 calories; 9 g fat (3 g sat, 4 g mono); 72 mg cholesterol; 8 g carbohydrate; 26 g protein; 0 g fiber; 679 mg sodium. Nutrition bonus: Niacin (50% daily value), Selenium (31% dv).

Roasted Florets (broccoli/cauli mix, I omitted the lemon and added 2 cloves chopped fresh garlic)
Makes 4 servings, 1 1/2 cups each
ACTIVE TIME: 5 minutes
TOTAL TIME: 30 minutes
EASE OF PREPARATION: Easy

8 cups bite-size cauliflower or broccoli florets (about 1 head)
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
Freshly ground pepper to taste
Lemon wedges (optional)

Preheat oven to 450°F.
Place florets in a large bowl with oil, salt and pepper and toss to coat. Spread out on a baking sheet. Roast the vegetables, stirring once, until tender-crisp and browned in spots, 15 to 25 minutes. Serve hot or warm with lemon wedges, if desired.
NUTRITION INFORMATION: Per serving (cauliflower): 113 calories; 7 g fat (1 g sat, 5 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 11 g carbohydrate; 4 g protein; 5 g fiber; 351 mg sodium. Per serving (broccoli): 101 calories; 7 g fat (1 g sat, 5 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 7 g carbohydrate; 4 g protein; 4 g fiber; 327 mg sodium. 1/2 Carbohydrate Serving