Monday, April 11, 2011

Breaking Free, so I can fly...Part 2

Continued from THIS blog post.....

Shortly after that God moved us to Charlotte and planted us in our church. Our Atlanta pastors knew our Charlotte Pastors very well. So we connected quickly at church. But I knew that I didn’t want to get back into the irresponsible behavior of taking on leadership positions or even volunteer positions while I was still living such a lie, caught up in such sin. In my 2nd stroke of genius(or miracle of God) I went to my Pastors wife and reached out for accountability. She plugged me into a women’s life group she was just starting. These women were dynamic, beautiful, talented, smart and strong in their faith. All the things I wanted to be. But the biggest difference between them and me was that they were honest. Really honest. It blew to smithereens the belief that I had that everyone else must have it all together if they do x,y,z so well. I remember one discussion in particular when one woman was sharing some of her struggles and I replied back to her, “but I look at you and you are so pretty and so talented….” I couldn’t even finish my sentence, because she interrupted me by saying… “What does THAT have to do with anything?” Again I had been holding on to the core belief that if it all looked pretty on the outside, the inside must be okay. These women took risks with being honest, real and authentic. And they made it okay and safe for me to do the same. It was time. Time for real confession, for real accountability, I had nothing else I could do but reach out for help. I could no longer stay chained to the wall of my past and my addiction. I had to wake up and step out into the complete unknown, because finally the past, and the addiction and staying chained to it was scarier than facing the uncertainty of the future.

The 1st step is surrender, the second step is community. You cannot break free on your own. You must get yourself into a community of really authentic and safe women who will challenge you, support you and dare to refuse to let you stay the same! Keep going after that until you find the place for you. Don’t give up if the 1st group or 2nd or 3rd doesn’t fit. I honestly believe, because I’ve walked through it, that we will never reach our full potential, or ever recognize our own true nature until we are in authentic community with other women. Proverbs 13:20 says that whoever walks with the wise will become wise. And we all know Proverbs 27:17, as iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend. Look carefully at those scriptures though, it’s not just about having friends or getting together with just anyone. You must walk with the wise. Women who seek God and His righteousness. Where does wisdom come from? Proverbs 9:10 teaches us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Don’t settle for just anyone to walk with. Find women who fear the lord and walk with them. One last thing about community, satan hates it! He wants you to be isolated. He’ll even convince you that just because you have lots of friends and a busy life that you aren’t isolated and alone. But in reality true community isn’t about shopping buddies or lunch buddies or old college roommate buddies. Real community is a group of women who dare to drop the facade, get up in your business and let you get up in theirs where spiritual growth is concerned. Don’t fall victim to satan’s schemes of fear or offense or to his lies that you are too busy. Don’t let him rob you of the immeasurable gifts, the freedom that you will attain by being part of a healthy, nurturing group of authentic women.

The last part is coming soon.......

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