I love how God will do the ole switcheroo on me sometimes....
So, have I told you that I'm in a lot of new places lately? And by that I mean, that in pretty much every single area of my life, I'm doing something new, something uncomfortable, something that takes me out of my little comfortable box that I've learned to live in so well. I'm not joking when I say EVERY SINGLE AREA either.... Let's do a quick run down: Dylan and Zach are both at forks in the road of their life, for me that means new emotions, new parenting skills, new boundaries, new EVERYTHING! I've just finished up training and have my first case for the NC Guardian Ad Litem program, that means new people, new experiences, going into new areas of life that I've been sheltered from, developing new instincts on how to handle new situations. I'm on the planning team for the Mercy Ministries 5K, the fundraiser team, that means meeting new people to ask them for support, new boldness, new courage, new skills to not take rejection personally. Next up, volunteering in the kids ministry at my church, new responsibilities, new ways to relate to children, heck, just new children in general! AND, there's a couple of other NEW things that are so NEW that I can't even tell you about them yet!
So yeah, where's my OLD life? You know, the one I managed pretty well, the one I could handle on my own for the most part, the one I was feeling pretty confident and secure in?
Yeah, WHERE IS IT??? Do I remember praying ... God, I want something new in my life. God, take me to the places you want me to go, where I will grow and develop into the woman you want me to be. Oh, yeah, I did pray that. I really do want to leave a legacy in this world, I really do want to be an agent for change and an example of God's power in this world. Probably can't do that from the same old, same old.
So, all of that was going through my head this morning as I was journaling and praying to God for direction. And He answered me. He said the next step is .... And it scared me a little. I've been thinking about giving up on one of the "new" areas. So tears started welling up in my eyes, because I KNOW that I heard His voice about this. But it's so scary to do so many new things every day. But, again, I KNOW that I heard His voice, so instead of giving in to the fear, I said okay. You tell me who, what and when and I'll be obedient God. I choose that now, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. And instantly I felt better. And after a minute or so I said, okay so what's next this morning. Romans 5:10. So I pick up my Bible and turn to Romans 5:10 and read on to verse 11 also: "For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God."
And here's the ole switcheroo... two words stuck out to me; rejoice and friend. So what are you trying to say to me God? I waited just a second and He said.... Don't focus on the uncomfortable-ness of what my voice says to do. REJOICE that you can hear my voice. You are my friend, you can hear my voice, rejoice. God, in His infinite wisdom, reminds me what is most important and switches every feeling I was having in an instant! I go from uncomfortable obedience to rejoicing service instantly! How precious it is that I hear His voice.
And, the echo of His voice saying "you are my friend" should keep me going for a while in all of this NEW-NESS.
I love you so much Jesus!